When it comes to the crunch, who or what are we really? If we are honest with ourselves we will see that we are no more than the sum total of – our genetic inheritance, the influence and limits of our physical and social environment, the quality (or otherwise) of our upbringing, and the impact of the many life events we experience through most of our adulthood. And these are dynamics we have very little control over.
Yet in spite of these most obvious facts most of us go on to accept our own hubris. We invariably believe the all successes we achieve, the prosperity we end up with, or the good graces we acquire, are the consequence of our own intelligence, hard work, and smart decision-making. At the same time we are equally convinced that the negatives that afflict us are the result of bad luck, fate, or worse, some other person’s unwise choices and the impact that has on us.
The rather unpleasant alternative view that our successes are really the consequence of good luck, and the negatives we endure are the direct result of our own poor choices, is a cognitively dissonant idea that we find very difficult to live with. But any intelligent, objective reflection will surely lead us to conclude that neither of these extreme perspectives is where the truth lies. And whatever bold claims we make none of us have a clue as to where that truth is. None of us can actually prove anything one way or the other.
So what does this all mean? It simply means that we have no excuse for arrogance, pride or self-satisfaction, or on the other hand depression, misery or stress. What we fail to accept is that life is an ongoing challenge, and we can never really say we’ve truly ‘made it’. In the end it’s an ongoing roulette of luck regardless of how in control we might erroneously think we are. Some of us are on the way up while others are on the way down. And there are probably times when we don’t even know which is which. None of it is anyone’s fault. Likewise, none of it is anyone’s favour. It’s just what is. And if this randomness is true then it means we must strive to keep our judgemental natures in check, because we can never be sure where others are on the ubiquitous roller coaster. We just need to cut each other a bit of slack, and especially ourselves!
In the end most of us are good people. Most of us work hard. Most of us love our families. Most of us try to be honest, tolerant and forgiving. And yet the world we all inhabit is full to the brim with rage, jealousy, bitterness, deviance, badness, intolerance and hatred. I wonder if all that anger is a consequence of not being able to come to terms with just how disempowered and impotent we all really are. I don’t know the answer to that, but I do know this. Let’s be really grateful that if for the moment we’re on some uphill stretch; because one day it will turn, and then we’ll need all the spiritual equanimity our poor bruised souls can muster.
So for now let’s all be nice and kind to each other. Let’s all be generous and empathetic. Let’s all love to the max. Let’s not gossip or judge. And let’s have nothing to do with, or give any support to, the deviants, liars and the haters. Let’s leave them out in cold where they belong.
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